Posts By Nicole Deagan

Men know how to ejaculate. Why don’t we?

How much has the history of male-centred sex affected women’s relationships to their own bodies? We think that female ejaculation is a myth, but we sure don’t question the existence of male ejaculation. So… why the difference?

It’s easier for men to ejaculate

It is? Yeah, I guess it is, since what most people consider ‘sex’ (hetero penis-in-vagina sex) seems to be designed for male ejaculation. But, once women know how to ejaculate, many can do it 5, 10, 15 times to a man’s single ejaculation. So, no, I don’t think it’s easier for men to do it… maybe just easier to learn how.

Very few women ejaculate

For now. I think that, really, the issue is that very few women know what to do in order to learn how. Many women think they simply can’t because it hasn’t already happened, or if it did, it was only once or twice – or with a certain lover. It may not be easy for you to learn how, it may take lots of practice… but believe me, it’ll be worth it!

Male ejaculation has a purpose

It’s all about procreation, right? In bed with the religious and cultural suppression of both women’s sexuality and sex for pleasure, this idea has done us such a disservice. We could set aside the ideas about female ejaculation preventing bladder infections or providing wonderfully copious amounts of lubrication, and just go with this: The purpose of female ejaculation is… pleasure!

Female ejaculation is only seen in sex industries

Sex industries, which cater to men’s voyeurism and desires, provide the only significant source of information on, or evidence of, female ejaculation. So, how do women who don’t watch porn or go to sex industry events (most women) learn about ejaculation?

Listen to my show, for a start. Then give it a try :)

You can hear the show here: Women’s Sexuality and Female Ejaculation

 

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Women and Aging

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Well, if Ellie can start blogs with Rage Against the Machine, then I figure I can throw down a little Beastie Boys…

Now, onto the real topic. Aging.

It happens. We all get older. And even with the most staunch feminist values, we all feel some psychological effects as our bodies age. For women, society’s over-valuing of our looks amplifies our responses to aging.

We know that we’ll have very real consequences in our lives as we lose that ‘precious’ commodity of youthful appearance – and attractiveness to men. Once we move out of the male gaze and onto the supposed sidelines of life, or we fear that we will, we need to look at our own relationship to our bodies and to our age.

There are ways to work with those feelings, and come out on the other side to a place where we can be role models for younger women and show them why it isn’t a bad thing to be an older woman!

Listen to my interview with Dr Vivian Diller to hear her amazing insights on this topic:

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