Last month, Samhita Mukhopadhyay wrote, in a blog post:
…in an effort to push the bounds of that exclusivity that so many of us feel on Valentine’s day, I wanted to think about the ways we can rethink love and romance to resemble who we are, as singles, couples and community. Celebrating love is a beautiful thing but shouldn’t depend on if we are in a relationship or not, our sexual orientation, our class background, our citizenship status or our marital status.
In response to dominant cultural norms and expectations around love and romance, Samhita created a tumblr called Occupy Valentine’s Day.
Check out all the awesome and inspirational pieces that have worked to challenge the romantic industrial complex and couple-talism or have, more generally, looked at love and romance through a critical and feministy lens:
1) Sady Doyle wrote an amazing, must-read piece a couple of weeks ago over at Rookie about Bad Romance: how to recognize when you’re in one and how to get out.
YWCA Moncton is celebrating Galentine's Day this year!
2) Samhita Mukhopadhyay writes about marriage, class, and the romantic-industrial complex at The Nation.
3) Sady Doyle writes: “Love, according to one line of thinking, is our first and most important education in social justice,” in her piece about Occupy V Day over at In These Times.
4) Kelsey Wallace at Bitch Magazine writes about Galentine’s Day, a day invented by Parks and Recreation character, Leslie Knope – Galentine’s Day is all about female friendship and “ladies celebrating ladies.”
5) Yay! You can find out more about Galentine’s Day and how to send cards to your most-loved ladies on YWCA Moncton’s website.
6) Clarisse Thorn provides an alternative perspective on Occupy Valentine’s Day at Role/Reboot because, hey, she likes getting red roses!
7) Tracy Clark-Flory looks at various anti-Valentine’s Day movements and events at Salon, asking: “Why has the holiday generated such cynicism and, sometimes, downright hatred?”
Of course we, at The F Word have been loving Occupying V-Day ourselves. Here is my take on love and romance in a patriarchal world and check our Occupy Valentine’s Day podcast, featuring an interview with Samhita Mukhopadhyay, at rabble.ca.
I highly recommend spending V-Day singing songs with Etta James, but however you choose to do it, happy Occupying!
Tags: feminism, HETERONORMATIVITY, LOVE, OCCUPY VALENTINE'S DAY, ROMANCE
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I appreciate the links to posts critical of V-day and look forward to reading them when I get a chance.
I do have a problem with the song, “I’d rather go blind.” Really??? Did Etta James know what “going blind” entails and how blindness limits one’s life?? It’s easy to say extreme things (“I’d rather die,” “I’d commit suicide before I let blah blah blah happen”) but the reality is a lot harder.
I know I’m being PC about this but I feel it’s important.
I hear ya. Truth be told this performance gives me chills and I did spend the day singing songs with Etta, who I wanted to pay tribute to a little here…. But your criticisms are most certainly valid.
Man, isn’t it cute how, like, the “alternative perspective” is basically, like … the mainstream perspective? Except hipper and edgier?
Oh my gosh. Here I thought the tables had turned and girly girls were being oppressed now! (Next you know they’re going to start suggesting we don’t need to shave our legs.) Thank GOD Clarisse is around to stand up for real womanhood, which of course is inextricably tied to getting trophies for allowing ourselves to be fucked. <3 yay, hearted!
joy–I’m so glad that when I dropped from links to comments, I saw I wouldn’t be the only one poised to hate on Clarisse, LOL. But seriously. It’s like feminism has gotten to be like…like, what? Maybe the vampire craze–now, everyone claims to be one, because it’s just SO hip! All the coolest ladies are FEMINISTS now!!! Gag me.
My 13yr old son and I occupied the Hallmark Holiday by going to the closest grocery store for chocolate. We like chocolate, and honestly eat way too much of it in the winter time…not like we needed an excuse, but there was an excuse handy so we used it. It was 5pm on a weekday/workday–generally a busy time for the grocery, what with so many on their way home from work grabbing something for supper. I’d never really thought about it before, but realized on V’day that there were a LOT of men there–making me realize that usually at that hour, it’s mostly womyn grabbing supper fixings. A lot of men, tons of em–in all manner of workday wear–all grabbing chocolate and flowers with an almost frantic air that even my son noticed.
So we occupied the evening, starting on our way out the door, with my son making wisecracks about all the pitiful guys who no doubt were hoping to get laid on Vday (my son is pretty smart). Started one-upping each other with great hilarity over it, on the way home. Beginning with his quip about “I guess flowers plus chocolate means sex tonite, eh guys?” moving on to “gee, I guess flowers plus chocolate plus wine means really great sex, right?” Then he says: “hmmm, what if he threw in an expensive dinner as well? What kind of sex would that earn a guy?” I ventured: “sex a few nights in a row, maybe?”.
Then it was home to eat chocolate on the couch, watching something on the telly–maybe old episodes of The X-files? that had NOTHING to do with romance!
Tracy Clark-Flory?! I read an online article a few years written by a woman about how pornography objectifies and dehumanizes women and then another woman said in the comments,that Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon.com Broadsheet said in an online article that she (frighteningly and disturbingly! my words) learned everything she knew about sexuality and relationships from watching pornography on the internet from the age of 12! And she said just a few years later she was imitating the acts and poses she had learned from it. I have also read her pro-pornography comments on her Salon articles. I can’t understand how you could even mention her as valid on this great true feminist anti-pornography site!
I just noticed I made a few typing mistakes.