Men know how to ejaculate. Why don’t we?

How much has the history of male-centred sex affected women’s relationships to their own bodies? We think that female ejaculation is a myth, but we sure don’t question the existence of male ejaculation. So… why the difference?

It’s easier for men to ejaculate

It is? Yeah, I guess it is, since what most people consider ‘sex’ (hetero penis-in-vagina sex) seems to be designed for male ejaculation. But, once women know how to ejaculate, many can do it 5, 10, 15 times to a man’s single ejaculation. So, no, I don’t think it’s easier for men to do it… maybe just easier to learn how.

Very few women ejaculate

For now. I think that, really, the issue is that very few women know what to do in order to learn how. Many women think they simply can’t because it hasn’t already happened, or if it did, it was only once or twice – or with a certain lover. It may not be easy for you to learn how, it may take lots of practice… but believe me, it’ll be worth it!

Male ejaculation has a purpose

It’s all about procreation, right? In bed with the religious and cultural suppression of both women’s sexuality and sex for pleasure, this idea has done us such a disservice. We could set aside the ideas about female ejaculation preventing bladder infections or providing wonderfully copious amounts of lubrication, and just go with this: The purpose of female ejaculation is… pleasure!

Female ejaculation is only seen in sex industries

Sex industries, which cater to men’s voyeurism and desires, provide the only significant source of information on, or evidence of, female ejaculation. So, how do women who don’t watch porn or go to sex industry events (most women) learn about ejaculation?

Listen to my show, for a start. Then give it a try :)

You can hear the show here: Women’s Sexuality and Female Ejaculation


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11 Comments on “Men know how to ejaculate. Why don’t we?”

  • Anonymous

    I thought this was a myth, sort of like a live unicorn, till my girlfriend managed to make it happen to me. Wow!

    • Nicole Deagan

      It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? Thanks for writing!

  • Komal

    I have a question: what is the fluid that is ejaculated by women? Is there an article you’d recommend on the basic biology of female ejaculation?

    Ok that was two questions :P.

    • Nicole Deagan

      The composition of the fluid has been studied so I can get you that info; but finding a good article on the topic is a bit tougher, unfortunately! When I was researching this I found that a lot of the sources were either lacking significant content or they were sexist and/or otherwise flawed. I’ll do my best to post something for you soon, though.

      Thanks for writing!

      • Nicole Deagan

        Actually, Wikipedia has some ok stuff on this right now… and their article even contains feminist critiques! Here’s an excerpt.

        Nature of fluid

        Critics have maintained that ejaculation is either stress incontinence or vaginal lubrication. Research in this area has concentrated almost exclusively on attempts to prove that the ejaculate is not urine,[43][63] measuring substances such as urea, creatinine, prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP), prostate specific antigen (PSA),[6] glucose and fructose [64] levels. Early work was contradictory; the initial study on one woman by Addiego and colleagues reported in 1981,[30] could not be confirmed in a subsequent study on 11 women in 1983, [65] but was confirmed in another 7 women in 1984.[66] In 1985 a different group studied 27 women, and found only urine,[46] suggesting that results depend critically on the methods used.[citation needed]

        A 2007 study on two women involved ultrasound, endoscopy, and biochemical analysis of fluid. The ejaculate was compared to pre-orgasmic urine from the same woman, and also to published data on male ejaculate. In both women, higher levels of PSA, PAP, and glucose but lower levels of creatinine were found in the ejaculate than the urine. PSA levels were comparable to those in males.[5]

        Source of fluid

        One very practical objection relates to the reported volumes ejaculated since this fluid must be stored somewhere in the pelvis, of which the urinary bladder is the largest source. The actual volume of the para-urethral tissue is quite small. By comparison, male ejaculate varies from 0.2–6.6 mL (0.04–1.3 tsp) (95% confidence interval), with a maximum of 13 mL (2.6 tsp).[67] Therefore claims of larger amounts of ejaculate are likely to contain at least some amount of urine. The eleven specimens analyzed by Goldberg in 1983,[65] ranged from 3–15 mL (0.6–3.0 tsp).[66] One source states that Skene’s glands are capable of excreting 30–50 mL (6–10 tsp) in 30–50 seconds,[54] but it is unclear how this was measured and has not been confirmed. One approach is to use a chemical like methylene blue so that any urinary component can be detected.[66] Belzer showed that in one woman he studied, the dye was found in her urine, but not her orgasmic expulsion.[29]

        PAP and PSA have been identified in the para-urethral tissues, using biochemical and immunohistochemical methods, suggesting that the ejaculate likely arises from the ducts in these tissues, in a manner homologous to that in the male.[68][69][70][71][72] Another marker common to the prostate/para-urethral tissue in both sexes is Human Protein 1.[73]

        PSA occurs in urine, and is elevated in post-orgasmic samples compared to pre-orgasmic. Simultaneous collection of ejaculate also showed PSA in both urine and ejaculate in all cases, but in higher concentration in the ejaculate than in the urine.[50]

        Check out the article at

  • What is the point of ejaculating? Does it actually feel good? Like, better than any other orgasm?

    Or is it that sex is now so male-defined we must consider ourselves lacking if we can’t produce a cumshot?

    • Nicole Deagan

      My point above was mostly that sex is so frequently portrayed and experienced as male-centred, it has left a lot of unexplored ground for women – including ejaculation. If you listen to the show, a number of women describe their experiences with ejaculation, and they definitely describe pleasure and empowerment, not trying to conform to male sexual standards.

      For decades, I thought female ejaculation was a myth and was about men’s fantasies. About making women’s orgasms something men could watch and understand. But, what I believe now is that female ejaculation is very much about women’s sexual pleasure. It can take a woman to a different place sexually than she’s used to – so it can be a really amazing experience.

      A lot of women who have an orgasm during sex can still feel a sense of not being completely fulfilled sexually, or not having a complete release. When you ejaculate, the release can be more complete and fulfilling.

  • piage

    It seems that all the studies on this subject or very old. Old in that most, if not all seem to come back inconclusive. If so, why are there not still more studies being done on this?

    I only recently found out about this… i have never, and have yet to figure out how. maybe i never while… or maybe one day it just might happen. Regardless it would have been nice to know this was possible while i was younger.

    If you can find newer information on this, perhaps find articles in more readily available magazines… something the public would find easily i think it could help.

  • anonymous person

    When it comes to ejaculation for a lady it just takes time and practice. It can be everything from some oozing, to squirting or even gushing. Awareness is the master key. Being aware of ones body, letting go, and just allowing it happen are a few special ingredients in ejaculation for a lady. So… through much practiced awareness of self, a lady can and will discover new ways to experience full body pleasure. The ejaculation will can happen almost like an after thought. The most important aspect of it all is to take quality interest in oneself, enjoying all of oneself, and knowing that it is a process. Just like anything else it comes with practice, practice and more practice. The lady in practicing more and more awareness of self, discovers and re-discovers that enjoying and having fun in the process of self discovery; is what it is all about! :) There is a really cool book out (just google: THE MASSEUR by JMM at LULU) that has 2 long, very detailed scenes on ejaculation. Susan, one of the main characters in the book, meets a masseur at Harvard. They spend an intimate day and evening together. Suzie, short for Susan, experiences the skill and talents of the masseur in helping her squirt. The book also is encouraging and inspiring. :)

  • jules

    Omg I have just done it for the first time ever. Thank you

  • This page really has all of the information I wanted concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

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